


Get Off My Wifi!

by whenshewrites



Series: A Collection of One-Shots and Tumblr Prompts [61]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Derek Hale is Not Amused, Derek Hale is Not a Failwolf, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, Meet-Cute, One Shot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Stiles Stilinski is a Little Shit, Stiles Stilinski is a Mess, Stiles Stilinski is a Tease, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24828994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whenshewrites/pseuds/whenshewrites
Summary: Derek just moved into a new apartment building and his neighbor is... annoying, to say the least.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: A Collection of One-Shots and Tumblr Prompts [61]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956889
Comments: 11
Kudos: 431





	Get Off My Wifi!

Derek could’ve gone without the introductions when he moved into his new apartment.

It wasn’t like he was an unfriendly person, but he’d been driving all night, unpacking all morning, and all he wanted to do was sleep for twenty-four hours and maybe consume an entire box of pizza rolls. Then, he could deal with his neighbors.

Read: his _neighbor_. The bright-eyed, slightly spastic teenager who hadn’t stopped trying to talk to him since Derek stepped foot into the building.

It started with the little things.

Like a wifi-password.

See, Derek’s sister had chosen the building. And doing so, she insisted he go with the ‘nice option’ that ‘wouldn’t get him shanked in the middle of the night’ and apparently ‘nice’ counts as having no free wifi and limited hot water, so go figure.

Which means he had to pay for his own internet.

That really didn’t bother Derek, except around day three, he got a notification that he wasn’t the only one using said internet. Someone was piggybacking off his wifi and— while Derek wasn’t an unfriendly person— that annoyed him to the very core.

So he reset his password and kicked the person off. Another two days passed and he was feeling quite pleased with himself.

Until he got another notification.

The user’s name was ‘Hoodie Boy’ and Derek stared at it for a long moment before he realized he knew who Hoodie Boy was. The idiot living next door who never seemed to change clothes.

Derek considered going over to his apartment and giving the kid a piece of his mind. But instead, he just changed his password again and settled down to wait. He made it complicated this time. So much so, he had to write it down on a sticky note to remember. The bright-eyed idiot wasn’t leeching off of his wifi this time.

It only took the kid one day to crack his code. 

Derek had enough.

He wasn’t sure what was going through his head as he pounded on the kid’s door at 2 am on a weeknight, but he was determined to growl some manners into the boy. It only took a few minutes of knocking before he heard the sound a crash, followed by a few choice curse words, and then the door swung open, the ratty-haired red-hoodied kid standing in front of him looking confused.

“Dude, what the hell? It’s the middle of the night!”

“Stop stealing my wifi.”

The kid blinked at him. There were sleep marks indented into one side of his face and his eyes were glassy with exhaustion. Derek felt a pang of guilt before quickly pushing it away. He was here to teach the kid a lesson, dammit. “What?”

“Stop stealing my wifi,” Derek said again. “I don’t know how you keep breaking the code but—”

“Oh my god, that’s _yours?”_

Derek stared. Then he glared. “Yes.”

“Dude, I thought that belonged to the mean old lady that lives on the floor above mine! She’s always bumping her cane against the floor when I’m trying to take a nap.” the kid blinked at him. “Is your wifi name seriously Der-Bear?”

Derek felt his face go hot. Laura had set it up and he hadn’t been able to figure out how to change the name. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is when I thought that was the name of mean old lady’s cat,” the kid said with a snort. Then he thrust out a hand with a wide grin. “I’m Stiles. I know you’ve been here for a few weeks now, but welcome to the neighborhood, dude!”

Derek didn’t move. He stared at the hand for a long moment and Stiles’s smile faltered, a nervous chuckle leaving his mouth as he lowered it.

“Uh, you’re Derek, right?”

“Stay off my wifi,” was all Derek said as he turned away. He made sure to slam his door as he stalked back into the apartment and he was met with silence for a moment. Then Stiles’s door slammed too and Derek let out a small sigh of relief.

That hadn’t gone like he’d expected. 

He changed his password once more, just to be safe, but he had no doubts he’d scared the wits out of the red hoodied idiot. Derek’s wifi was safe.

He got a notification the next morning. Hoodie Boy was back.

“Dammit!” Derek said, slamming his bowl of cereal onto the table. Milk and bran flakes went sloshing over the edge but he didn’t even care. Grabbing his keys, he stalked out of his apartment again.

Stiles opened the door after only two knocks. The kid was grinning lazily, amber eyes dancing as he took in Derek and the t-shirt and boxers that he wore. 

“Good morning, dear neighbor. Sleep well last night?”

“Get off my wifi!”

“Sharing is caring, Der-Bear,” Stiles said sincerely. But his grin never slipped. “I’m just being a good neighbor and helping you do that.”

“I don’t want to share!”

Stiles tsked and stared to closed his door. Derek shoved his foot in the opening before he could, though, and Stiles’s eyes widened a fraction. He actually looked nervous for a moment. “Look, dude, I’m a college student who can’t afford wifi. Can’t you be a dear and let me on once in a while?”

“No. That’s not my problem.”

“Come on,” Stiles said. “I’m a catch! I’ll even… pay you back for it! Not with money, of course. How about ramen? I make some mean ramen.”

Derek growled. Stiles’s eyes widened even more. 

“... So no ramen then?”

“Get off my wifi,” Derek said, retracting his foot. “Next time, I won’t ask so nicely.”

He turned away and could feel Stiles staring for a moment. But then the boy laughed. “Whatever, Der-Bear, you’re already falling for me, I know it! Try not to drop too hard, dear neighbor, I’m a respectable man!”

Derek slammed his door shut. He could still hear Stiles laughing.

Derek hated this building.

-

Stiles was pretty sure his new neighbor was a giant grump. 

Because one, he’d been elusive since he’d moved into the building, despite Stiles’s wondrously generous attempts to get to know him. Or at least say hello.

And then two, he went on to buy some seriously fast wifi and then denied it to Stiles; his very best friend in the whole wide world. Or at least, they could be best friends, except Derek was a giant grump. 

One who apparently didn’t sleep. And had the worst password codes Stiles had ever seen.

It might help that he could crack just about anything, but Derek was no professional when it came down to things. The man made his first password the numbers 1-10. His second was the numbers 10-1. His third was just a bunch of letters, but Stiles had all the time in the world. And he was persistent.

Then Derek got mad.

See, Stiles probably would’ve given up ages ago. He definitely would’ve given up when Derek knocked at his doors in nothing but boxers, looking like an angry teddy bear with a murderous streak. But then he got a fear boner like he’d never gotten before.

Stiles had yet to address that.

The point was, he couldn’t make himself stop. Seeing Derek get riled up and red in the face made his stomach do some weird things and Stiles thought it was adorable, goddammit. Derek looked like he was about to blow a fuse when he got mad. His angry face was much too similar to Grumpy Cat. 

It was freaking adorable.

So Stiles… well, he did stop the second time Derek came around. 

For a week.

He actually planned on lasting longer than that, but then his professor assigned a twenty-page long paper typed, and the local library closed due to a rat infestation. 

Of course.

Which was how he snuck onto Derek’s wifi at one in the morning, trying desperately to type up a twenty-page paper before Derek woke up the next morning and burst in to strangle him.

But apparently, Derek had an alarm system on his wifi or something.

Because Stiles was only two pages in when there was a hard knock on his door, so loud it made Stiles startle sideways and go spilling off his couch. He hit hard, smacking his elbow on the coffee table, and just laid there for a moment, the entire world spinning.

Derek continued to knock. 

“Oh my god,” Stiles groaned, pushing himself up. “I’m coming, I’m coming! Don’t put a hole in my door, dammit!”

Derek had a shirt on this time, when Stiles yanked his door open. The man’s hair was sticking up in all directions, his boxers were covered in little wolf faces, and he looked downright pissed.

Stiles sighed. “I told you not to fall in love with me. Must we go through this entire thing again?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“That sounds a lot less like a love confession and a lot more like a murder threat, big guy. My dad’s a sheriff, you know. And he’s scarily protective of his only son.”

“Stiles,” Derek said, shoving by and barging into his room. Stiles squeaked in surprise and stumbled out of the way, watching the giant angry man stalk around his apartment. And suddenly, he was a little nervous. Because what if Derek did come here to kill him?

“Uh, dude?” Stiles said, voice a little squeaky. “I was just trying to write a paper. There’s no need for violence, alright?”

Derek turned around to face him. “A paper.”

“... Yes.”

“You expect me to believe you’re pirating my wifi for a paper.”

“Excuse me!” Stiles said, shoving himself forward and jabbing a finger into Derek’s well-formed chest (bad thoughts, brain, stop it with the fear boners). “I was going to wait longer before making a pirating attempt, but then my jerk off a professor decided twenty pages was an appropriate number for a paper on the male circumcision. I didn’t ask for this!”

“The male… what?”

“Exactly what I said!” Stiles shouted. “Do you think I want to be up at one in the morning attempting to write a paper? I was trying to finish before you came in to murder me!”

“I wasn’t— I wasn’t going to murder you.”

“Do you even listen to yourself talk?”

Derek looked a little offended, a lot confused, and a tiny bit constipated as he hesitated for a moment. “You just using it to write a paper.”

“Broke college kid, dude! Do you think I wanted to live in this crappy apartment building? My dad won’t let me live off-campus unless it’s somewhere ‘safe’ and apparently safe means no wifi and limited hot water.”

Derek flinched. Suddenly, Stiles felt a little bad, deflating into himself. He sighed.

“The nearby library was closed and I didn’t want to go all the way across the city to reach the other one. But I’ll get off dude. No need to kill me or anything.”

Derek stared at him for a moment. Then he dropped his eyes, plodding toward the door. “No, it’s fine. Finish your paper.”

Stiles blinked in shock. “What?”

“Finish your paper,” Derek said again, looking a lot less like an angry teddy bear and more like… well, an actual teddy bear. If not still a little red-faced. “It’s fine.”

Stiles didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded dumbly. Derek started to turn away, but then he glanced back and the murder-brows had returned once more. “And I’m not in love with you.”

“Sure, dude,” Stiles said with a scoff. “I’m sure you barge into everyone’s apartment at one in the morning in your little wolfy boxers.”

Derek’s face turned a shade of even brighter red. But this time, it didn’t seem to be because of anger.

Stiles thought that was even more of a turn-on than his fear boner (shut up, lower regions).

For the first time since they’d met, Derek didn’t slam his door when he went back into his apartment. Stiles didn’t slam his either, leaning against it for a moment. Then he shook his head, laughing softly to himself.

“What a Sourwolf.”

He finished his paper that night and conveniently forgot to get off of Derek’s wifi the next morning. If only for the visit he got the night after that.

And the one after that too.

-

Old lady Agnes thought the young man that lived below her was the most annoying young man to ever walk the earth.

He played his music too loud, he always burned his ramen, and he was up at ungodly hours annoying the crap out his neighbors. She’d been plagued by the sound of slamming doors for months now, and she couldn’t tell if it was a game of his, an actual rivalry on the lower floor, or some kind of millennial fetish.

The point is, she could hear everything. From the door slamming, to the rough thuds that sounded oddly like… furniture being thrown, to the screaming matches.

Tonight just so happened to be another one.

“I was just making ramen, Derek, I didn’t mean to trigger the fire sprinklers! Put your shirt goddamn back on!”

“I’m soaked, Stiles, give me something to wear!”

“No, because then you’ll never give my clothes back, asshole. I’m not giving you shit!”

“Dammit, Stiles, sharing is caring. Give me the hoodie!”

“No, it’s my favorite hoodie!”

Closing her eyes, Agnes sighed and reached for her cat, scratching wrinkled fingers through Grumpy Cat’s fur as the two below her floor continued to scream. She already knew it was going to be a long night.

Sometimes, she hated this building.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: “I told you not to fall in love with me.” & “Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!” and I had so much fun (it might've gotten away from me a little bit). Like always, I love hearing what you guys think. Stay safe!
> 
> Come hang out with me on Tumblr?
> 
> [the dumpster](https://when-she-writes-stuff.tumblr.com/)


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